my selfish vainities

The arms are pierced and bleeding
martyr or release
Reaching for one to hear
the sound of bloody fingers on keys

She heard and responded
and wants to know me?

I'll give her a try...
I'm dizzy.

who's in control of my life?


Don't test God she says
Please I beg you get help
....
she remembers writing..
how can I help you for I am lost myself--
not anymore she's not lost-- though might be hard to believe..
She's not lost.

her heart was with him
tears for him...
she is not walking away.

Though it was hard to see
she wouldn't leave.
She couldn't- she won't.

Her hand hasn't physically acted-
but her heart has wanted to quit--
but now.. she is so much better-
there is areason for all of this.

To be continued...